10 Etiquette Rules About Eating In Japan; The Do’s and Don’ts

Japan is known for its polite etiquette and friendly interactions that make it a delightful place to eat great food while also having a memorable and pleasant time. As travelers and tourists, it is our job to reciprocate these polite mannerisms to ensure that we are treating food venues with respect and kindness. The ‘rules’ that I have gathered below are not necessarily vital or punishable, but rather guidelines to show better respect to the hardworking Japanese staff and their culture. 

It is important to note that not all of these will apply to every eating venue in the country, nor are they a complete list; but I feel that these are some of the most important and commonly used ‘rules’ that I learnt throughout my travels. But of course, there’s always more, so be sure to let me know if you think I’ve missed something. 

Let’s get into it!

Rule 1: Establish your group size when entering

As you enter an establishment, most eateries will have someone greet you at the door or acknowledge your entering from across the room if busy. Even if tables appear to be available, wait at the door until you are acknowledged. The first thing to do when you enter (other than saying hello – ‘Konichiwa’) is to tell the staff how many people you will be dining with. You can do this by saying the number in Japanese (or English if needed) or by simply showing the number with your fingers. At this point the staff will tell you if they have space for your group and where to sit or they will apologize and send you on your way. If you are dining solo, it is still necessary to show them a number 1. 

Many establishments in Japan are quite small and can only sit small groups. Pulling tables together is also very uncommon and can be considered rude, so large groups will often be asked to split up or be refused entry. If you have a large group (more than 4 people), it is also polite for the group to wait outside, while one or two representatives enter and states the group size, preventing 6 people from walking in loudly, only to walk out again if there is not enough space. 

Rule 2: Eat with Chopsticks Respectfully

Chopsticks are obviously a huge part of Japanese culture, therefore, there are a few specific do’s and don’ts around the use of chopsticks. 

• Don’t stab or cut food with the chopsticks – this is viewed as a sign of rage or destruction
• Don’t rub the chopsticks together – this is viewed as disrespecting or devaluing the quality of the chopstick
• Don’t leave them stabbed into a bowl of food – this is viewed as having the intention for aggressive or harmful behavior
• Obviously, don’t play with, wave around, or stick them in places that they should not go (no animal or wizard references) 
• Do place them on a small stand or the edge of a bowl when not in use (see rule 3)
• Do not lift the chopsticks above the level of your mouth 
• Don’t lick or bite the chopsticks – they are a tool to bring food to your mouth, not to poke it in there and shove it down. 

It is also important to note that chopsticks are not always the only option. If other cutlery is available, feel free to use it. Curry dishes are often served with a spoon, and western style meals often have a knife and fork alternative. It’s more disrespectful to struggle with your food and make a mess than to just use what you are used to. 

Rule 3: Correctly Place Chopsticks on the Table 

Obviously, you are not expected to hold the chopsticks for the entire duration of your meal once it arrives. In most cases, chopsticks will be offered in a paper sleeve or with a form of stand. You can use the paper sleeve to create a stand if one is not provided. There is not exactly a wrong way to do this, as long as it is small and raises the used end of the chopsticks off the table. If there is no stand or paper sleeve, it is appropriate to place the end of the chopsticks on the edge of a low dish or across the rim of a tall dish. Careful not to have them roll off the table and onto the floor. 

Rule 4: Use the Japanese Hand Towel aka. ‘Oshibori’

In most Japanese venues, you will be given a small towel at the beginning of your meal. These may come as warm or cool towels and are specifically given to wash your hands at the beginning of the meal. It is easy to get these confused with a napkin or paper towel that you would be given at western restaurants, but the important difference is that Oshibori are strictly intended for use on the hands only; not the face, clothes or table. 

It is intended that the person whose idea or invitation it was to attend the meal, use the Oshibori first, and all others to follow. After the hands are clean, neatly place the used hand towel to the side of the table to not get in the way of the meal. 

Rule 5: Sit at the Table Appropriately 

Japanese restaurants greatly vary in their seating arrangements depending on the type of dish served, targeted audience and area of Japan. Most western, fast food or tourist-based venues provide the standard chair and table seating arrangement that you would be used to. But more traditional areas will offer a Tatami (‘floor with cushions’) seating area. 

The most important rule about Tatami is strictly no shoes are allowed! They will often provide a shelved area to neatly place your shoes, but if not, you may place them neatly on the floor against the step of the Tatami mats. Once on the tatami, use the small cushion to sit at the table by either kneeling or crossing your legs. At worst, you may stretch your legs out under the table as long as you are not bothering the person across from you. 

Rule 6: Store Jackets, Bags and Accessories Appropriately 

As you enter the establishment, take a look around for clues of the intended place for your accessories. Japan is a very trusting place, so it is common to find a communal coat rack or bag storage at the entrance of the venue (particularly places with small seating areas). In other cases, you may find baskets or shelving under the table and chairs to place your things. It is polite to use the storage facilities provided for a neat eating area. Venues will often provide these to prevent jackets and bags being left on the floor or in narrow walkways to avoid staff tripping while serving food. 

If there is no obvious place to put your things, either place it neatly under the table or behind you, out of the way. Or kindly ask the staff if there is an area they would recommend you put it. 

Rule 7: Order Directly from the Menu

While it may be standard in many countries to swap, add or remove ingredients and sides for a dish, in Japan, it is often difficult or disrespectful to do this. Many Japanese venues have automated machines or cooking procedures so that they can deliver high quality dishes without the long waits. However, this often means that asking for “no onion” while seeming simple, will mean that the waiter has to personally ensure that each stage of the kitchen making your dish knows that message for one dish that moves through multiple areas of the kitchen with multiple other dishes. So it is best to just pick a dish directly from the menu that you don’t want to adjust or change. And if you don’t like something, pick it off or order something else. Now of course, people may be allergic or have certain dietary requirements, but even still, it is best to find something that you can eat without adjustment or find a venue that can cater to your needs.

Rule 8: Return your Dishes

In most cases, dine-in restaurants will not require you to return dishes or trays. In these cases, the polite thing to do is to place empty dishes at the edge of the table for convenient collection by passing staff. Continually used dishes, such as a personal bowl, soups, or pickles that remain on the table for the duration of the meal, should be returned at completion to their original position/arrangement that you received them in. 

In food halls, fast food, and casual diners, there will often be a place to return your tray, dishes and glasses at completion of the meal. It will often look like shelving with bins below near the kitchen or ordering area. Follow any signs or instructions available to ensure that you return and separate the trays, cups, dishes and liquids in the way that they intend. 

Rule 9: Separate Rubbish and Liquids

While it may be difficult to find a public garbage bin in Japan, it is not due to lack of cleanliness or a disregard for trash. Quite the opposite! Japan has an extensive recycling and disposal regime that is far beyond many of its Neighbours. You may notice that you can’t even throw away the things you buy from the vending machines, they need to be separated by cans or PET bottles. Nor can you put liquids into these bins, only empty bottles. Restaurants and businesses follow similar guidelines. All their trash is extensively separated, sorted and sent to be recycled according to the material. Most businesses will have ‘Burnable’, ‘Soft Plastics’, ‘Hard Plastics’, ‘Cardboard’ and ‘Glass’; but these can be even further separated and none of them will allow liquids. In many areas, this sorting is done by hand in the staff’s personal time, so be respectful of any bins that you find and if you don’t find the one you need, hold onto your trash until you do or give it to a store owner who will dispose of it correctly for you.  

Rule 10: Purchase a drink AND a meal

It is customary in Japan to provide water and tea for free in many venues, however, it is not polite to take advantage of this service. Many restaurants will charge a small fee if you choose not to purchase a drink with your meal (and the charge is usually equivalent to a non-alcoholic drink from the menu, so you might as well get one). 

Izakaya restaurants are known for their cheap alcohol, but you will be expected to purchase a small amount of food for each round of drinks that you buy to not take advantage of that fact and to control alcohol consumption. Often selling delicious, skewered meats and other finger foods, it only costs a few yen to order a dish or two with each round of drinks (you might even try something new that you like). 

Remember; buy a drink with your meal or buy a snack with your drinks, with the only exception being the bars and nightclubs that will either have higher prices on their drinks or add a small ‘cover charge’ on entry. None of these things are done to scam you or to be difficult. In fact, you will easily have a full meal and drinks for under 2000 yen anyway (approx. AU$20). If you don’t like it, feel free to purchase food from the supermarket or kombini’s where none of these customs apply. 

Rule 11: Leave with Gratitude and Kindness; language, payment and tipping

Asking for the bill in Japan is a little different from western customs. In some venues, the waiter will bring a note to the table as your food arrives so that when you are done you can simply prepare the payment and walk to the counter to pay as you leave. In other cases, you will need to get the staff’s attention, either by pressing a button at the table, or by calling out “sumimasen” (meaning ‘excuse me’). Once you have their attention, you can either ask for the bill in English or say “okaikei onegaishimasu” (meaning ‘check, please’).

After they bring you the bill, gather the payment and have only one person go to the checkout area. It is good to note that many venues in Japan are cash only, it is very uncommon to split the bill and tipping is not customary. When you pay, place the cash or card in the small tray provided and wait until it is all checked through before walking away.  

Once the bill has been paid, it is time to leave, no hanging around for one last chat. If you like, as you leave you can say “gochisousama-deshta” (meaning ‘thank you for the delicious meal’) to which they will often respond “arigato-gosaimasu” (meaning ‘thank you’). 

Enjoy your meal! 

Now that you know your way around the rules of eating in Japan, it’s time to go out and start trying some of their incredible food! Save this post for your next trip to Japan and remember that they are more like ‘guidelines’ than actual ‘rules’ anyway. Enjoy!